🚀 ACQUISITION ALERT 🚀
Every fee goes to buying dead startups. Our CFO (a golden retriever) has already acquired 0 companies. We're building a portfolio of worthless assets. This is M&A activity.
Acquisition Strategy
- 💀 100% of fees go to buying dead startups
- 🏢 Currently own: 0 companies
- 📊 Every purchase gets a formal press release
- 🤝 Building the worst holding company ever
- 🎯 Target: Any downbad failing company
- 🐕 All deals approved by CFO (the dog)
What They're Saying
"look at my cfo dawg im going to jail"
"Just acquired TechStartupAI.com for $47. We're now an AI company."
"Our portfolio companies have a combined revenue of $0."
"Every dead startup deserves a second chance to fail."
Economics
COMPANIES OWNED
0
ACQUISITION FUND
$0.00
AVG PURCHASE PRICE
NaN
PORTFOLIO VALUE
WORTHLESS
RUNWAY LEFT
∞
BURN RATE
YES
Roadmap
✓ Launch: Website deployed, CFO hired (dog)
✓ Strategy: Decided to buy dead startups
⟳ Acquisition Phase: Waiting for first fees
• Portfolio: Own 5+ worthless companies
• Exit: Sell entire portfolio for $1
Ready to Fund Our Shopping Spree?
Every purchase directly funds our acquisition of dead startups. Be part of the worst roll-up in history.